What's Your Rating For Dating?

A quick, useful guide on how to grade your lover and dating experience

Anne Roumanoff Published Feb 23, 2020 00:00:00 IST
What's Your Rating For Dating? Image: Shutterstock

On the internet, we’re constantly asked for customer reviews. We’re invited to give our verdict on hotels, restaurants and shows by awarding stars, giving a ranking or leaving comments.

While we’re about it, we could also post user ratings for our romantic conquests:

  • “Experienced type who’s been around the block a few times. A bit slow in getting started but good roadholding. Tends to consume too much in liquid form, which impacts negatively on performance.”
  • “Lovely welcome and delightful stay in an idyllic setting but came to an abrupt end when I discovered that the owner was indulging in multiple occupancy.”
  • A high-class establishment—supposedly. But hygiene and cleanliness left a lot to be desired. To be avoided!”
  • A pleasant trip spoiled by a lack of generosity without a single present, not even on the first day. Bring your own food or have it delivered—culinary skills practically zilch.”
  • “Top-of-the-range model, immaculate presentation, oodles of artistic sensibility but highly strung and impossible to please.”
  • “Modest set-up and nothing much to look at, but a warm and well-honed welcome that quickly made me oblivious to a lack of height—and of hair. You feel so good there that your only wish is to hurry back.”

At the end of the day though, when it comes to love, it’s best to set out in blissful ignorance. No need for customer reviews to help you make up your mind. Sometimes it’s best just to listen carefully—to your heart.

Anne Roumanoff is a well-known French humorist. She lives in Paris.
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