Sisterhood to Last a Lifetime
These college pals teach a master class in how to maintain a friendship for 50-plus years
They got ready for parties and shared countless laughs as freshmen in the dormitories of the University of Maryland at College Park. They bonded over being Black women at a university where, in 1971, only 4 per cent of the student body was Black. Friends dubbed the tight-knit group of women Sugar Hill, and the name stuck.
“It was unique for that many African American females to be in one place,” says Elizabeth Gholston, an early member. “During that time, you needed that kind of camaraderie and cohesiveness.”
On 14 December 1973, the women, most of them college seniors, gathered to celebrate a birthday and an early graduation. But that wasn’t the end of the friend group. By the evening’s end, they decided they should meet again the following December. And the next one. And the next one.
For the past 50 years, the women have met at least once a year for dinners, sleepovers and vacations. The 16 women of the Sugar Hill Sisterhood, as they now call themselves, have leaned on one another through decades of milestones: weddings and graduations, baby showers and funerals.
There’s no challenge too big for the sisterhood, says Everene Johnson-Turner. “I could call in the troops in a minute.”
Lasting Traditions
While many people have friendships that span decades, the women of Sugar Hill are something of a case study i...
They got ready for parties and shared countless laughs as freshmen in the dormitories of the University of Maryland at College Park. They bonded over being Black women at a university where, in 1971, only 4 per cent of the student body was Black. Friends dubbed the tight-knit group of women Sugar Hill, and the name stuck.
“It was unique for that many African American females to be in one place,” says Elizabeth Gholston, an early member. “During that time, you needed that kind of camaraderie and cohesiveness.”
On 14 December 1973, the women, most of them college seniors, gathered to celebrate a birthday and an early graduation. But that wasn’t the end of the friend group. By the evening’s end, they decided they should meet again the following December. And the next one. And the next one.
For the past 50 years, the women have met at least once a year for dinners, sleepovers and vacations. The 16 women of the Sugar Hill Sisterhood, as they now call themselves, have leaned on one another through decades of milestones: weddings and graduations, baby showers and funerals.
There’s no challenge too big for the sisterhood, says Everene Johnson-Turner. “I could call in the troops in a minute.”
Lasting Traditions
While many people have friendships that span decades, the women of Sugar Hill are something of a case study in what it takes to maintain them. Although the bond among them was forged during college, they’ve worked hard to stay connected and nurture their relationships. A group chat helps them stay in touch daily, as do phone calls, video chats and remote group activities like a 90-day fitness challenge. They are committed to their annual reunions and have maintained unwavering support for one another.
“People are in awe that all these women, in all these years, we haven’t had a fight, we haven’t had a breakup or anything like that. We respect each other’s individuality,” says Jonetta Hill. The Sugar Hill Sisterhood has toured the world together, with trips to Jamaica, Spain, Italy, the Bahamas, Mexico, the United Arab Emirates, Brazil, Argentina and Portugal, among many other places. And the women say that whatever is going on in their lives, they can look forward to spending time together every December. Last year, the group celebrated the 50th anniversary of their first December reunion with a trip to Grenada.
“These trips are meaningful because for a lot of years that was the only vacation I had,” says Cassandra Stewart. “We have the best time ever, and it really sets the tone for my year. When I’m with them, it’s going to be nothing but good times.”
To make sure the trips and reunions keep happening, a designated trip coordinator is appointed each year. The coordinator will send a notice in mid-March or early April about the destination of the trip along with an estimate of the total cost, says Joyce Wynn Dawkins. And it’s an unspoken agreement to not say anything discouraging about the choice of location, says Linda Evans Cheek. “If you want to go somewhere when it’s your turn, we’ll go there.”
A Daily Connection
The daily group chat messages include prayers, inspirational quotes and life updates, Dawkins says. “Time and friends are two things that become more valuable the older you get,” reads one message. When it’s someone’s birthday, the group chat is filled with GIFs, emojis and well wishes. If the women ever need to have a deeper conversation, they will jump on a video call, as they did on Fridays during the height of COVID-19. And if someone in the group mentions she isn’t feeling well, she knows she will hear from the others.
Helen Jackson James recently experienced a throbbing headache and mentioned it to Sugar Hill sister Quentess Elizabeth Davis. Almost immediately, James started receiving concerned texts and calls from other women in the group. “They were on top of me, asking: ‘Did you go to the doctor? Did you go to the emergency room?’” says James. “They help me maintain my health and positive mind. We give each other strength, and when there’s something challenging for us, we try to lift that person up.”
During Good Times and Bad
In the late 1970s, Dawkins’s boyfriend died in a car accident. She had moved back to Baltimore, Maryland, and was mourning the loss when one of the Sugar Hill sisters, Sheila Perkins-Hawkes, persuaded Dawkins to come back to D.C. and live in an apartment with her. They stayed roommates for the next few years. “She nurtured my soul,” Dawkins says. “That’s all I can say. She let me cry when I wanted to cry.”
Stewart befriended most of the women through Dawkins, a high school friend. The sisterhood was there for Stewart at her lowest moment nearly 40 years ago when she was without permanent employment for two years. The sisterhood sent cards, covered her dinners and even helped pay for her to attend the reunion trip that year.
“That meant the absolute world to me,” Stewart says. “I don’t remember ever being that low in my life. It was just how they kept me encouraged. They just made me feel good about myself at a time where I didn’t have that at all. I don’t have any biological sisters—I have all brothers—but I don’t think I could’ve picked a better group of sisters.”
A Lasting Identity
The group continues to debate the origins of its name. Several of the women believe it was started by male friends on campus. ‘Sugar’ was a term of endearment toward the women, while ‘hill’ referred to the fact that they lived on the top floor of their residence hall.
“It was all girls, and we were supposed to be all sweet sisters,” says Angie Page. “Sugar is sweet, and we were young ladies up there.”
Group members say their name has become part of their identity and now extends to family members. Husbands are referred to as ‘sugar daddies’, Johnson-Turner says. Children are ‘sugar babies’ and grandchildren are ‘sweet tarts’.
“Everything we call our families has to do with sugar,” says Johnson-Turner. The friends support one another’s children and grandchildren, and the children of the sisterhood also spend time together.
“It’s a great feeling knowing that we’ve passed the Sugar Hill legacy to our offspring and they are passing it down to their offspring,” Dawkins says.And before Dawkins got married in 1985, Cheek’s husband explained to her fiance that his commitment would extend beyond Dawkins.
“Just make sure you want to do this,” Dawkins recalls him saying. “You’re marrying her, but you’re marrying 15 other sisters as well.”
“He was laughing,” Dawkins says, “but he was right.”
The Washington Post (12 February 2024), Copyright © 2024 by The Washington Post.